What the...? Eww!

For the last month or so my hair has been falling out like crazy when I wash it or brush it. Ugh, I hate it. So does David...drains, ewwwwwwwwwww. But, I remember this after I had Emma. Evidently hair loss peaks after three or four months post-delivery. Supposedly while you are pregnant you don't lose any hair whereas normally we lose hundreds of hairs a day. So after the baby is born and hormone levels start to normalize (this can be accelerated when you stop breastfeeding) all those hairs you held on to fall out.

I can tell in my hair line (front) that it is thinner but can already see new hairs growing in. I know it will be behind me in no time but it's annoying! Thank goodness for my otherwise thick head of hair and side bangs to help conceal it!

I got my first gray hair (almost exactly) on my 24th birthday. I would have one or two in my part and plucked them. Just last week I noticed three right next to each other in my part- oh heck no! But, they're not just confined to my part anymore. I'm hoping this is a brief hormonal phase, not ready for this full time! Off I go to google research: "grays at 25". Eww!

Put Your Affairs in Order

Bitches 'til the End!

The Doctor, after an examination, sighed and said: "I've got some bad news. You have cancer and you'd best put your affairs in order."

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

"Well, my daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So let's go have a drink."


After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There more laughs and more martinis. They eventually were approached by some of the woman's old friends who were curious what the two were celebrating. The woman told her old friends they were drinking to an impending end, "I've been diagnosed with AIDS." The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, "Mama, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why'd you do that?"

"Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone!"

And THAT my friends, is what is called 'Putting Your Affairs in Order'

Thought for the day:
Women are like phones. They like to be held, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected.

Extras

I've left a few things out lately.

Cody is now in size 2 diapers- unfortunately we still have a big package of size 1 :(

We have cereal every night before his last bottle and he gets so full that he doesn't usually finish that bottle.

Cody is teething like crazy and not happy about it. I can see the next tooth that will be coming in- this one is on top. Poor baby, pretty much has to have Tylenol every four hours while he's at school w/an occasional teething tablet.

He is wearing size 6mos.

This Sunday Emma lost her very first tooth! It was a little traumatic once Emma realized what had happened and she held one of Cody's burp cloths inside her mouth for about an hour because she was convinced that it was bleeding that whole time.

The tooth fairy brought her a gold $1 coin but unfortunately Emma kind of forgot to check it in the morning because she woke up at about 1:30 with a 102.3 fever shaking and sweaty. I put her in bed w/me. The next day she seemed fine and no more fever. Praying all is well. We spent Sunday morning (and Saturday morning) at Grammy and Paw Paw's. They were a huge help to me last week and the kids and I have fun spending time with them.

Last week was h-e-double hockey sticks for me. It started the Sunday previous. We were having a lovely evening, kids in bed and David and I were just sitting down to fold laundry and watch Couples Retreat. David gets a call and they are one man short for an overtime gig at a road construction site in Bee Cave. David and I made eye contact and I knew he had to go. It just sucks- it always sucks. I was sitting on the coach folding clothes, litteraly had a smile on my face...and just like that he was gone.

So that meant he would be working Sun, Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri, Sat with another overnite O/T gig on Thursday w/an extra morning shift on Wednesday. He would have had to work the overnite O/T on Wednesday also except that it rained and the crew couldn't work. I'm not goign to lie, it was hard on me. It was hard on David and on the kids. Since April I've been trying to come home at least one day during the week for lunch so I feel like I've seen him. But the kids don't get to see him and I can tell a difference after a day or two of him working. We are scheduled to go to the day shift as of July 1st. No sense in complaining, just trying to look to the future! Can't wait for Daddy to be home at night. Looking forward to a memorable Father's Day for David!

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Mmm Mmm Good!

Cody turned four months old on May 27th. He's sleeping between 10-11hrs at night and still taking one long(er) nap about mid-day that can last 1-2hrs. His two bottom teeth have been in for about two weeks now. We went to the Dr. the week before he turned 4mos and he weighed 11lbs 12oz and we went to the Dr. on June 4th and he weighed 14lbs 2oz!!! Boy has been busy! Our pedi is very happy with his development and always comments on what a happy baby he is. I'm just still amazed at that weight gain.

We've been having a harder and harder time getting him to bed at night. We have quiet time, take a bath etc. but he fights hard! The paci just pisses him off because he knows that means we mean business. We just try to be patient, keep the room quiet, and get him warm and comfy. I don't let him squirm around so it doesn't take very long. He is also rolling over, grasping toys and having lots of fun in his saucer. He is pretty much over his swing. He tries to hold his own bottle, has found his feet and often holds them and his hands; Emma says he is praying for another bottle when his hands are folded. He talks a lot and most often it sounds like "love you"- at least that's what we hear. :)

Tonight while we were at HEB (on the baby aisle of course) I decided to grab a box of rice cereal to keep around. Well I was too curious to try it so Daddy took the reigns in the kitchen and I gave it a go w/the cereal! I was amazed- Cody is ready! I have no idea if we'll do this every night, etc but tonight was fun! Way to go son!

Ooh, pretty strawberries on my bib.

He He, this is fun.

Didn't get much on his bib. Plenty went in his mouth!

Two-fer

This is sort of a two-for-one blog. Enjoy!

As I was listening to an "Elton John Station" on Pandora, the song : "I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues" came on.

"Don't wish it away
Don't look at it like it's forever
Between you and me, I could honestly say
That things can only get better

And while I'm away
Dust out the demons inside
and it won't be long before you and me run
To the place in our hearts where we hide

And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder, under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Just stare into space
Picture my face in your hands
Live for each second without hesitation
And never forget I'm your man

Wait on me, girl
Cry in the night if it helps
But more than I love life itself

And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder, under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues"

Since David is still on nights, this song kind of got to me. I've heard it a million times and I'm probably interpreting some of it differently than you might, but it's just that kind of song; it will stand the test of time. Just like our marriage will!

Part Deux...

This morning when I got to work there was an email in my in-box from David. I quickly deleted the junk mail and got to the good stuff! I got excited you see because when David e-mails me (pretty infrequently) it's usually some piece of memorabilia that he's got his eye on (I thrive on these because he is hard to shop for!) or an article he wants me to read, etc. I suppose this morning's e-mail fits into that second category.

Law Officer Magazine Volume 6 Issue 5

Put Your Partner First

A stable home life will make you a better police officer

DEAR BULLETHEAD:

This isn’t a complaint or a question, just an observation. My first partner got some bad news: She has cancer.

She’s been my partner since before I became a cop—more than 27 years. She’s put up with the lousy pay, the lousy shifts and the other not-so-nice parts of law enforcement careers. Sometimes she’s complained but, when all is considered, not that much. She’s probably complained less than me.

I’ve awakened to my partner washing blood out of my hair, as I lay in a hospital bed following an incident where I rode on the hood of a punk’s car after he ran me down. This was one of several trips to the ER she’s made over the years. She’s always been there for me. As she starts this battle, I’m determined to be there for her. This means taking some time off and postponing some training I scheduled for later this year. I’m catching some flak at work over this, but I have the time coming, so I’m taking it. Just as I wouldn’t abandon a partner on the street, I can’t abandon her now.

This might not be your typical letter, but I felt like venting to someone that might understand where this old cop is coming from.

—Concerned

Dear Concerned,
Thanks for your letter. On the one hand, I feel both great sorrow and respect for you and your partner. Surviving inside of our profession for that long while maintaining a marriage is amazing. Many of us don’t pick our significant others well enough to find someone who can put up with the things you described and the hundreds of other cop-related issues we all know exist.

There’s a hell of a lesson there for you youngsters. A beautiful partner is important, but you need to find someone who has the tolerance and constitution to put up with this career. Any long-term relationship is difficult, but you add in shift work, call outs, organizational and street-related stress and good ol’ hypervigilance, and you have the recipe for a disastrous married life. A stable home life will make you a better cop and give you a more productive and rewarding career.

Ol’ Bullethead can’t even count the number of hardworking young police officers I’ve seen turn into disgruntled, lazy, useless cops after their marriage fell apart. Some blame the job, some blame the person. However, if they picked better, they would’ve had a shot at keeping their families together.

We need to do more to educate ourselves about the effects this career has on our relationships, personalities and psyches. We can turn into John Adams and not even realize it. Ol’ Bullethead is lucky because Mrs. Bullethead isn’t afraid of putting her boot into my rear end when I need a little shove in the right direction—and she’s hot! Hey, I’m Bullethead—what were you expecting?

On the other hand, your department is turning my stomach. Think about this: If you rolled by a person in distress on duty and didn’t help, you’d end up with your butt in a sling. The clowns at your agency are giving you a hard time for doing what they’d expect you to do on duty. I don’t think there’s a publishable word that describes how wrong that is. What makes me even more angry is that my department would likely treat me the same.

Let’s be honest. It’s an industry-wide problem. At my agency, they pretend to be better. I remember one young cop who flew to the hospital in his unit because his son had to go in for something. The watch commander was supportive for about an hour. Then, he called the young cop up and started screaming about getting the unit back. On that day, that lieutenant took a hard-working cop and made him an enemy of the department. He also negatively affected every one of us who heard that story.

Ol’ Bullethead wasn’t working that day. Had I been, I would’ve been busted to civilian when I jumped over the desk and shoved the phone up that WC’s tail. That moron would still be trying to get it out, and it just might have been worth it. I don’t know how to fix this except by not doing it and trying to influence others.

I’d like to swing by your department with my baton and change some minds, but that won’t help you or your partner. Brother, you’ve been doing the right thing on the job for more than 27 years, and you’re doing the right thing now. Take care of your lady!

--------------------------------

I think he was telling me something. :) I know David would do anything to take care of me and the kids- he already is! David and I try to keep things in perspective. It took us a while and honestly I think the final step was having Cody. Nothing else matters! Nothing. Else. Matters. Jobs, cars, houses etc. We have each other. Our marriage HAS to come first for us, our kiddos and all the other things we'd like to be. Glad to be his #1!

When we were dating David was in his second year at Williamson County Sheriff's Dept. as a bailiff for one of the WilCo judges. Monday through Friday 8-5 baby! He would come over to my house and we'd cook together and spend all evening together. After we officially moved in together David was hired at Bee Cave and thus began our turn on the night shift. I know it could be worse. It could be a lot worse. Departments who work 10 hr shifts don't get every other weekend off and David does at BCPD. Looking back those first couple of years when I just had Emma to take care of, seem like a vacation now!

I missed David so much when he was on nights (in the beginning) that I would cry so hard I'd almost make myself sick. I know. Seems silly. But for me it was the realization that it's going to be this way for a loooooong time. This is his career. But I signed up for this when I fell in love with David. It is what it is. But when we'd have "talks" about it I remember always saying I felt like I was #2. That his job came first. He argued with me about that, but now I think I get it. Sometimes, his job has to be the priority. It's life and death he's dealing with and he's got to have his head on straight. Which means when he knows I'm at home falling apart he can't do his job and I would have to remedy that.

I can be strong. I've proven time and time again that I am a strong person. The personal hell I went through about five years ago, throwing up for half of the year last year and now I have two beautiful children who make me proud everyday! I'm proud of our marriage and in retrospect see how much I've grown and how much growing up I still have ahead of me.

David isn't a man of many words, but he finds ways to tell me and show me that I am and always have been his #1.

My Girl

I've had a lot of precious moments with my girl lately. I'm a little less emotional now that preschool graduation is behind us- I was a wreck for two weeks! Unfortunately the last couple of weeks have been littered with scary moments as well.

On Friday the 21st David and I took the kids to their pediatrician for some shots Cody still needed (since he had had a fever all the times previous) and Emma was overdue for her 5-year well-check. Emma looks great- she is 54lbs and I want to say 42"??? I'll have to double-check her height. She is in the 95th percentile for both height and weight and has been since birth. Dr. Bryant estimates that she's on track to be 5'8". My pedi. told my parents that I would be 5'10" and play for the lady longhorns...I'm still waiting for those last few inches!

Cody had to have two shots. He didn't even flinch for the first one but the second one was not fun and Daddy pretty much teared up. I wouldn't know because I couldn't look. So that was that.

The next day (Saturday) we took Emma to see the new Shrek. She had to go to the potty two times during the movie and she had just gone right before we went to the theater. I knew that wasn't like her but wrote it off to her drinking her Hi-C too fast. The next morning Emma told me her "tummy" hurt when she peed. I shot David a look and we were off to urgent care Sunday afternoon. During the first week of May Emma had had strep throat so I assumed this was a UTI secondary infection. Her labs didn't point to it being a urinary tract infection but the Dr. started us on antibiotics and said they would do a culture to see if bacteria grew.

Monday morning Emma went to school and I let her teacher know what was going on and that Emma would be running to the potty a lot! That afternoon about 4PM I got a call from the preschool that Emma had blood in her urine and in her panties. Still, we were thinking this was just a really bad UTI. I called the Pedi. and they set up an after-hours appointment to have her re-seen. David had to go to work but my parents saved the day and picked up Cody for me so I could stay on this side of town and take Emma to the Dr. after school/work. Emma had gone through a few pairs of underwear and some had pink blood stains- not something any Mommy wants to see! But she seemed fine and was excited to see me. The after hours Dr. we saw was great- she recognized Emma's Redeemer t-shirt, come to find out her son is in preschool there as well. She spent a lot of time with us and was doing research right then and there. Because of the pain Emma was describing she scheduled us for an ultrasound to check for kidney stones etc. Again, her urine labs were looking clear so a UTI was out of the equation.

To keep a long story from getting longer...Emma was a champ through all of this. I'm not going to lie- they took a ton of blood from her and that SUCKED (excuse my language) but she didn't cry. So proud of our tough girl as DD calls her. So we don't know what it was. We really thought it was a complication from the strep throat and it could have been but the labs were inconclusive and her scans were clear. No blood or complaints since then. Our Pedi. was working with blood and kidney specialists who all looked at her labs and were very pleased with what they saw- all normal! Dr. Bryant said she'll give her a once-over when we're in soon for Cody's next well-check. I felt like I held my breath for two days while we were waiting on results and answers. Thankful that David took a couple of days off to be there through it all (he pulled up behind us when we got home from her after-hours visits) and thankful for everyone who prayed for us and checked in on us!

Since things seemed to settle down a little bit, we had a little family date on Tuesday night. Well there was a dual purpose to our trip to the Dell Diamond. Cubs hall of famer 2nd baseman Ryne Sandberg coaches the AA affiliate, the Iowa Cubs. He's on David's list of 'autographs wanted' and he got it. It was so cool! We were having an amazing night. The weather was beautiful, we had great seats behind the plate, Cody did awesome at his first baseball game, everyone was commenting on how cute the kiddos are and they didn't run out of Pok E Joe's chopped bbq sandwiches! So everything was dandy until we went to the restroom in the top of the 7th. Emma held the door open for us to leave and a woman flung the door open and knocked Emma to the ground. Her big toenail was 3/4 elevated from her toe (likewise w/the toe next to it) and blood was everywhere. Emma was screaming at the top of her lungs for a paper towel. I'll never forget that shrieking. She was shaking and sweating and all the woman did was hand her a paper towel and say "I'm so sorry." Either she really had to pee or she got the heck out of dodge. Probably a good idea because if she had lingered she might need someone to bring HER a paper towel. (Not really, but I got so pissed!)

I had Cody in my arms, along with an extra diaper and the wipes. I did my best to get on the floor with her but Emma wrapped her own toe with the paper towel and slid her sandal back on (I told her to put on tennis shoes and later she apologized for not listening to me about that.) We got about 10 steps out the door and she just was having such a hard time walking. My cell phone was in the diaper bag at the seats w/David so I had no way to call him for help. One older woman offered to help but what was I going to, hand off my baby to a complete stranger? I ended up just scooping up Emma and carried her 54lbs and Cody's 12lbs all the way down to row 4 where David was sitting. I'll skip ahead. A ballpark attendant had an EMT come down. Emma actually let him check out her toe and bandage it. A few minutes after he had left, Jay Miller the President and COO of the Round Rock Express was walking down our aisle. David is such a baseball freak that I actually knew who he was when I saw his name tag coming towards us.

How awesome is that? He brought Emma an Express bag with toys, t shirts, balls etc. and sat and visited with us for the rest of the game. Emma made me so proud by being able to calm down and enjoy the rest of the game. She told me and Jay that he was being a good Jesus Friend to come check on her since she got hurt. Proud mama! I just love her so much. She's been through a lot this last month. She had strep throat, got a bad cut on her cheek at school, had the weird bleeding/tummy pain and now her toes are all gnarly the week of her big dance recital! She just bounces back and does it with grace! That's the reason I chose Grace as her middle name. People and things come and go but my wish was that she'd be a beautiful person through it all!