Put Your Affairs in Order

Bitches 'til the End!

The Doctor, after an examination, sighed and said: "I've got some bad news. You have cancer and you'd best put your affairs in order."

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

"Well, my daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So let's go have a drink."


After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There more laughs and more martinis. They eventually were approached by some of the woman's old friends who were curious what the two were celebrating. The woman told her old friends they were drinking to an impending end, "I've been diagnosed with AIDS." The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, "Mama, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why'd you do that?"

"Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone!"

And THAT my friends, is what is called 'Putting Your Affairs in Order'

Thought for the day:
Women are like phones. They like to be held, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected.